and I don't like it.
I used to drink when I felt any kind-of emotional pain. The pain wouldn't go away, but it would always be masked for a least awhile. It is that numbing feeling that I miss. That is what I most often remember fondly - not drinking a cold beer on a hot summer day, not tasting a fine glass of wine - the feeling of sinking into complete oblivion - that is what I miss.
I know that feeling my emotions is the more healthy solution. And, it isn't as unpleasant as it was even a year ago. I am getting better at dealing with my feelings in a healthy manner. I can recognize that shitty feelings are going to surface, and they are temporary.
My father's impending divorce is bringing up so much pain - for me and for my kids. I am trying to be the best mom I can and protect them from it - but it is hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment