It never fails......

I got sick Saturday night. Same thing my daughter had. Luckily, I now just feel tired and achey - no more throwing up. What a waste of a Holiday weekend. Yesterday was my stepfather's birthday party - my husband took the kids over. I had to miss it.

This week will be a better week - it has to be! I need to have an optimistic outlook about it. My daughter still feels sick, so I am home this morning and my husband is coming home at noon so I can make it into work for a bit. I feel like I am so disconnected from work. I hate not being there every day and knowing what the heck is going on. Plus I have a grant to write. I will bring it home tonight and work on it. I just hope everyone emailed me the data they were supposed to!

On the fourth, we went to my brother-in-laws. It was nice. We also went over to see my husband's friend (and his family) who is in town from Oregon. That was surprisingly difficult. One of my most embarrassing drunk moments happened at their wedding.

It was 7 years ago. My son was 2. My husband's best friend was getting married in Salt Lake City, and we were taking our first vacation away from our son. We were staying at the place they got married for a few days for the wedding festivities, and then heading over to Park City for close to a week.

I drank a lot at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding. I was drinking wine, which I generally didn't drink. At the wedding, I got really, really, blackout drunk. I remember flashes of the evening - smoking a cigar out on the patio with some random person, stumbling down the hall trying to find my room - but not the whole evening. I got very sick that night. It was absolute hell.

The next morning, I was still getting sick. The rest of the wedding party asked us to go to breakfast. I said no freaking way. I didn't even want them to see me. I was that bad. I told my husband to get me to Park City, to the condo so I could just sleep in air conditioning. (We were staying way, way, way up high in the mountains - there were no air conditioners - just swamp coolers - and it was like 90 degrees).

The car ride to Park City was excruciating. My husband had to keep pulling over so I could get sick. I actually thought I might die. I was shaking and couldn't stop. We got to the condo and my husband found directions to a health clinic.

We went there and I had to tell the doctor I drank a lot the night before. I was ashamed, and told him we were really high up and it must have been the altitude, mixed with some sort of stomach bug. The doctor just looked at me, like, "Yeah, sure."

I got an IV with fluids and some anti-nausea medicine. I felt better almost immediately.

We went back to the condo and I slept. I woke up a few hours later and we went to dinner. I ordered a raspberry wheat beer. I didn't drink to excess the rest of the trip, but I drank. I was being very "smart" and was drinking a glass of water with every alcoholic drink. I smugly thought that would be ok.

I was embarrassed around my husband's friend's family (we did a few dinners and things with them the rest of the week), but we told them I had a bug and maybe they believed us - I don't know.

My husband believed I had a bug. I convinced myself I did. Right up until I got sober, I would have told you that it was the altitude mixed with a virus and the alcohol. Not that I had drank enough to drown an elephant.

So, when we saw our friends Saturday, I felt ashamed all over again. I tried to act like I had it all together, and smiled and talked with them about our kids and our lives. But, in the back of my head, I was thinking they must think I am such a lush.

I was quiet driving home that night, and my husband asked me what was wrong. I told him it was hard being around J and H. He was quiet, and then said, "It wasn't like you were making out with a member of the bridal party in front of 200 people under the only bright light in the place...." (That is what J did at our wedding.). I laughed, but I told my husband, it doesn't matter what others do - it matters what I do. And, I was ashamed.

This Friday is my husband's 20th high school reunion. J and H will be there. It will be an interesting night. I am nervous about it. At least I know I won't do something stupid because I am drunk. Then, on Saturday, we are hanging out with J and H and their kids.

Then, Sunday, I get to see MY BFF and her family. Thank God.