We had a wonderful day. My husband's 20th reunion was last night and we went with our friends J and S. It was a lot of fun! I guess my friend S doesn't know I quit drinking because she was trying to give me a sangria last night (who the hell drinks sangria lol?). Her sister in law is one of my closest friends and she knows, but I gues she hasn't told anyone. I just said no thanks and had water and soda. It was fine! No-one even noticed really. One of my husband's friends did clink glasses with me and tried to see what it was (water) and looked at me like, "Why aren't you drinking?" I ignored it and quickly enough she was back to her beer. lol
Then, today, we got up late (my kids were at my mom's) and cleaned up the house, mowed the lawn, etc. My kids got home and we had our son clean the pool (this is GREAT - he is old enough to actually, truly, really help. All for $5 a week - it is like slave labor!).
My husband's friends from out of town came over and then we all went over to J and S's house for a party. We are friends with all of J and S's siblings and they were all there along with their 10 kids (kids ranging from 3 - 12). This is their annual birthday party - they have one big party in the summer for all the cousins (instead of having a million birthday parties through the year). So, we had a ball. My kids love playing with all of them, and they are now old enough to do their own thing a bit more. I don't have to follow them around. It is AWESOME. Hell, they even could swim without us in the pool (an adult was always in the pool area). It was great.
We had a wiffle ball game of kids vs. adults. It was so much fun. When I was drinking I wouldn't have played. Now, I don't mind making myself look silly - I know I am not drunk and won't do something stupid. Then, after most people left, and the thunderstorm started, I sat inside with my friends and they drank wine and I drank soda and we gossiped while the kids played in the basement.
Now we are home and kids are in bed and we ordered pizza and wings and are going to watch tv together.
It was a perfect day.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
It never fails......
I got sick Saturday night. Same thing my daughter had. Luckily, I now just feel tired and achey - no more throwing up. What a waste of a Holiday weekend. Yesterday was my stepfather's birthday party - my husband took the kids over. I had to miss it.
This week will be a better week - it has to be! I need to have an optimistic outlook about it. My daughter still feels sick, so I am home this morning and my husband is coming home at noon so I can make it into work for a bit. I feel like I am so disconnected from work. I hate not being there every day and knowing what the heck is going on. Plus I have a grant to write. I will bring it home tonight and work on it. I just hope everyone emailed me the data they were supposed to!
On the fourth, we went to my brother-in-laws. It was nice. We also went over to see my husband's friend (and his family) who is in town from Oregon. That was surprisingly difficult. One of my most embarrassing drunk moments happened at their wedding.
It was 7 years ago. My son was 2. My husband's best friend was getting married in Salt Lake City, and we were taking our first vacation away from our son. We were staying at the place they got married for a few days for the wedding festivities, and then heading over to Park City for close to a week.
I drank a lot at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding. I was drinking wine, which I generally didn't drink. At the wedding, I got really, really, blackout drunk. I remember flashes of the evening - smoking a cigar out on the patio with some random person, stumbling down the hall trying to find my room - but not the whole evening. I got very sick that night. It was absolute hell.
The next morning, I was still getting sick. The rest of the wedding party asked us to go to breakfast. I said no freaking way. I didn't even want them to see me. I was that bad. I told my husband to get me to Park City, to the condo so I could just sleep in air conditioning. (We were staying way, way, way up high in the mountains - there were no air conditioners - just swamp coolers - and it was like 90 degrees).
The car ride to Park City was excruciating. My husband had to keep pulling over so I could get sick. I actually thought I might die. I was shaking and couldn't stop. We got to the condo and my husband found directions to a health clinic.
We went there and I had to tell the doctor I drank a lot the night before. I was ashamed, and told him we were really high up and it must have been the altitude, mixed with some sort of stomach bug. The doctor just looked at me, like, "Yeah, sure."
I got an IV with fluids and some anti-nausea medicine. I felt better almost immediately.
We went back to the condo and I slept. I woke up a few hours later and we went to dinner. I ordered a raspberry wheat beer. I didn't drink to excess the rest of the trip, but I drank. I was being very "smart" and was drinking a glass of water with every alcoholic drink. I smugly thought that would be ok.
I was embarrassed around my husband's friend's family (we did a few dinners and things with them the rest of the week), but we told them I had a bug and maybe they believed us - I don't know.
My husband believed I had a bug. I convinced myself I did. Right up until I got sober, I would have told you that it was the altitude mixed with a virus and the alcohol. Not that I had drank enough to drown an elephant.
So, when we saw our friends Saturday, I felt ashamed all over again. I tried to act like I had it all together, and smiled and talked with them about our kids and our lives. But, in the back of my head, I was thinking they must think I am such a lush.
I was quiet driving home that night, and my husband asked me what was wrong. I told him it was hard being around J and H. He was quiet, and then said, "It wasn't like you were making out with a member of the bridal party in front of 200 people under the only bright light in the place...." (That is what J did at our wedding.). I laughed, but I told my husband, it doesn't matter what others do - it matters what I do. And, I was ashamed.
This Friday is my husband's 20th high school reunion. J and H will be there. It will be an interesting night. I am nervous about it. At least I know I won't do something stupid because I am drunk. Then, on Saturday, we are hanging out with J and H and their kids.
Then, Sunday, I get to see MY BFF and her family. Thank God.
This week will be a better week - it has to be! I need to have an optimistic outlook about it. My daughter still feels sick, so I am home this morning and my husband is coming home at noon so I can make it into work for a bit. I feel like I am so disconnected from work. I hate not being there every day and knowing what the heck is going on. Plus I have a grant to write. I will bring it home tonight and work on it. I just hope everyone emailed me the data they were supposed to!
On the fourth, we went to my brother-in-laws. It was nice. We also went over to see my husband's friend (and his family) who is in town from Oregon. That was surprisingly difficult. One of my most embarrassing drunk moments happened at their wedding.
It was 7 years ago. My son was 2. My husband's best friend was getting married in Salt Lake City, and we were taking our first vacation away from our son. We were staying at the place they got married for a few days for the wedding festivities, and then heading over to Park City for close to a week.
I drank a lot at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding. I was drinking wine, which I generally didn't drink. At the wedding, I got really, really, blackout drunk. I remember flashes of the evening - smoking a cigar out on the patio with some random person, stumbling down the hall trying to find my room - but not the whole evening. I got very sick that night. It was absolute hell.
The next morning, I was still getting sick. The rest of the wedding party asked us to go to breakfast. I said no freaking way. I didn't even want them to see me. I was that bad. I told my husband to get me to Park City, to the condo so I could just sleep in air conditioning. (We were staying way, way, way up high in the mountains - there were no air conditioners - just swamp coolers - and it was like 90 degrees).
The car ride to Park City was excruciating. My husband had to keep pulling over so I could get sick. I actually thought I might die. I was shaking and couldn't stop. We got to the condo and my husband found directions to a health clinic.
We went there and I had to tell the doctor I drank a lot the night before. I was ashamed, and told him we were really high up and it must have been the altitude, mixed with some sort of stomach bug. The doctor just looked at me, like, "Yeah, sure."
I got an IV with fluids and some anti-nausea medicine. I felt better almost immediately.
We went back to the condo and I slept. I woke up a few hours later and we went to dinner. I ordered a raspberry wheat beer. I didn't drink to excess the rest of the trip, but I drank. I was being very "smart" and was drinking a glass of water with every alcoholic drink. I smugly thought that would be ok.
I was embarrassed around my husband's friend's family (we did a few dinners and things with them the rest of the week), but we told them I had a bug and maybe they believed us - I don't know.
My husband believed I had a bug. I convinced myself I did. Right up until I got sober, I would have told you that it was the altitude mixed with a virus and the alcohol. Not that I had drank enough to drown an elephant.
So, when we saw our friends Saturday, I felt ashamed all over again. I tried to act like I had it all together, and smiled and talked with them about our kids and our lives. But, in the back of my head, I was thinking they must think I am such a lush.
I was quiet driving home that night, and my husband asked me what was wrong. I told him it was hard being around J and H. He was quiet, and then said, "It wasn't like you were making out with a member of the bridal party in front of 200 people under the only bright light in the place...." (That is what J did at our wedding.). I laughed, but I told my husband, it doesn't matter what others do - it matters what I do. And, I was ashamed.
This Friday is my husband's 20th high school reunion. J and H will be there. It will be an interesting night. I am nervous about it. At least I know I won't do something stupid because I am drunk. Then, on Saturday, we are hanging out with J and H and their kids.
Then, Sunday, I get to see MY BFF and her family. Thank God.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Independance Day
Happy Fourth of July!
We are going to my brother-in-laws for a cookout and a parade today. My husband and I have gone every year since we met for fourth of July. So, ummmm, 13 years I guess. This is the 13th year. The first year was in 1996 (we met in January 2006) - and it is now 2009 - yeah 13 years. We were married in October 1997 so our 12th wedding anniversary is this year. Wow.
Anyways, it is really important to my husband to do this tradition every year. Our kids have always gone, and they enjoy it. I am sort-of mixed. I mean, I don't hate it. I just do it. I made my white cake with the strawberry and blueberry flag on the frosting. My husband made his pasta salad. My kids are excited. I have cute flag outfits for them to wear. My husband's BFF is in town (same town where my BIL lives - about an hour away) and we will go over and see him, his wife, and their two kids. We will likely go to the cemetary and visit my father in law's grave (same town). I need to get showered and the house picked up so we can go.
I'll bring some crocheting I think. I haven't crocheted in a long time, but I enjoy it. Plus my MIL can help me!
My niece who is 16 has a boyfriend. Yikes! I am excited to meet him but is so strange to see my neices and nephews grow up.
I'm just tired. I met with my sponsor last night. We sat on lawn chairs outside on the grass at a church where a meeting is and we talked. Then and we went to the meeting together. I feel emotionally exhausted from trying to make this progress. It is hard. It is painful.
I need more meetings. I have to put this first. Why is it so hard?
OK - off to get ready to go.
We are going to my brother-in-laws for a cookout and a parade today. My husband and I have gone every year since we met for fourth of July. So, ummmm, 13 years I guess. This is the 13th year. The first year was in 1996 (we met in January 2006) - and it is now 2009 - yeah 13 years. We were married in October 1997 so our 12th wedding anniversary is this year. Wow.
Anyways, it is really important to my husband to do this tradition every year. Our kids have always gone, and they enjoy it. I am sort-of mixed. I mean, I don't hate it. I just do it. I made my white cake with the strawberry and blueberry flag on the frosting. My husband made his pasta salad. My kids are excited. I have cute flag outfits for them to wear. My husband's BFF is in town (same town where my BIL lives - about an hour away) and we will go over and see him, his wife, and their two kids. We will likely go to the cemetary and visit my father in law's grave (same town). I need to get showered and the house picked up so we can go.
I'll bring some crocheting I think. I haven't crocheted in a long time, but I enjoy it. Plus my MIL can help me!
My niece who is 16 has a boyfriend. Yikes! I am excited to meet him but is so strange to see my neices and nephews grow up.
I'm just tired. I met with my sponsor last night. We sat on lawn chairs outside on the grass at a church where a meeting is and we talked. Then and we went to the meeting together. I feel emotionally exhausted from trying to make this progress. It is hard. It is painful.
I need more meetings. I have to put this first. Why is it so hard?
OK - off to get ready to go.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
My poor baby
My daughter is sick. She started throwing up last night in my bed and threw up every 15 minutes throughout the night. After a couple of hours she was just gagging as there was nothing left in her system. We didn't sleep. She has taken and tolerated small sips of water today but when she drank a bit more (about 1/4 cup) at once she got sick again. So, we are back to small sips. She is just laying on my bed watching tv and dozing. I hate it when she is sick.
I had to call in to work (husband out of town, and my dad couldn't help today because he had an appointment). Even if he could have watched her I would have stayed home - she clearly feels miserable and needs mommy.
So, I will hve to go to work either tomorrow or Monday if I can because I have stuff to do.
I should really finish the piles of laundry from last night but I am so tired from not sleeping last night.
I had to call in to work (husband out of town, and my dad couldn't help today because he had an appointment). Even if he could have watched her I would have stayed home - she clearly feels miserable and needs mommy.
So, I will hve to go to work either tomorrow or Monday if I can because I have stuff to do.
I should really finish the piles of laundry from last night but I am so tired from not sleeping last night.
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