It's official - my boss is leaving. End of July.
There will likely be a nationwide search for his position and a likely scenerio is no replacement until early 2010. We have two associate executive directors, and they will likely be in charge in the meantime. Our Board of Directors needs to look at all this, but that is my guess on how it will shake out.
I just keep reminding myself to breathe. There isn't anything I can do about it other than do my job to the best of my ability. That is all I can do. So, one foot in front of the other....
It is sad though. I like my boss. We get along well and even though he is tough to work for, he is fair. And, it is important for me to be happy for him instead of only thinking about how it will affect me.
So, life continues to give us lessons that we need to use for growth.......
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Good Morning!
I am forcing myself to be cheerful. Is it working?
I really dislike being so cranky all the time. Fake it till you make it.
There is this woman in AA. Her name in D. I really like her. She is totally cool, plus has everything I want. She has what appears to be a wonderful life - a handsome husband, a very sweet daughter, a great house they remodeled themselves, a good job and career, great hair....the whole package. Perhaps the coolest thing about D though is that she just seems truly happy. It radiates off her. I want THAT. I want that true happiness. Don't get me wrong - I have seen her cry and seen her having hard times - but she gets over it and is so present. She works at it. I really should spend more time with her. I know she likes me, and she is always saying we should spend more time together. I really should. I am scared to reach out though.
What else is going on? My sponsor is going back to school for her PHD. I am happy for her. We continue to meet about once a week or so to chat and go to a meeting together. I feel like I am not making progress, but she says that I am right where I am supposed to be. That sucks, because where I am tends to be painful. When do I get the happy part????
Work is kind-of nuts. I am 99% sure my boss is leaving. He hasn't made the announcement yet, but our offices are attached and I hear stuff. Plus, he has had closed door meetings over and over the last few weeks (more than he has the whole time I have worked there). His assistant started acting all upset after her closed door meeting with him. Her position is the most vulnerable to change (CEO's executive assistant). I am a little peeved I haven't been told yet. I am one of a handful of people who directly report to him.
The position he is (likely) taking is his dream job. Really, it is. He has been working for this his whole life. I am happy for him. The other part of me is totally worried though. A new CEO means change. Lots of change. My boss is - difficult - but I am learning a ton from him. I am sad that will end.
My husband is traveling all week.
I am taking Friday and Monday off, which is getting me to work today even though I don't feel like it. I have a couple meetings today, so I should get moving. I just want to go back to sleep!!!!
I really dislike being so cranky all the time. Fake it till you make it.
There is this woman in AA. Her name in D. I really like her. She is totally cool, plus has everything I want. She has what appears to be a wonderful life - a handsome husband, a very sweet daughter, a great house they remodeled themselves, a good job and career, great hair....the whole package. Perhaps the coolest thing about D though is that she just seems truly happy. It radiates off her. I want THAT. I want that true happiness. Don't get me wrong - I have seen her cry and seen her having hard times - but she gets over it and is so present. She works at it. I really should spend more time with her. I know she likes me, and she is always saying we should spend more time together. I really should. I am scared to reach out though.
What else is going on? My sponsor is going back to school for her PHD. I am happy for her. We continue to meet about once a week or so to chat and go to a meeting together. I feel like I am not making progress, but she says that I am right where I am supposed to be. That sucks, because where I am tends to be painful. When do I get the happy part????
Work is kind-of nuts. I am 99% sure my boss is leaving. He hasn't made the announcement yet, but our offices are attached and I hear stuff. Plus, he has had closed door meetings over and over the last few weeks (more than he has the whole time I have worked there). His assistant started acting all upset after her closed door meeting with him. Her position is the most vulnerable to change (CEO's executive assistant). I am a little peeved I haven't been told yet. I am one of a handful of people who directly report to him.
The position he is (likely) taking is his dream job. Really, it is. He has been working for this his whole life. I am happy for him. The other part of me is totally worried though. A new CEO means change. Lots of change. My boss is - difficult - but I am learning a ton from him. I am sad that will end.
My husband is traveling all week.
I am taking Friday and Monday off, which is getting me to work today even though I don't feel like it. I have a couple meetings today, so I should get moving. I just want to go back to sleep!!!!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I'm scared
I am scared about my health. As I age, I feel like I am falling apart.
I recently had some emergency dental work done. I got a root canal. And a temporary crown put on last week. It fell off the next day. My dentist was closed Friday, so I have been sticking it back on with toothpaste (the internet suggested it - it still keeps falling off).
Then there is the mammogram follow-up. That is tomorrow. I get another mammogram and an ultrasound. I am SURE it is ok, but it has still been on my mind. Constantly.
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure a few months back. I was put on a diuretic. That didn't help. So, next I got a more serious blood pressure med. That worked, but all of the sudden, I was very dizzy all the time. My doctor suggested I cut them in half and halve the dosage. That seemed to be working ok. I hadn't checked my blood pressure in awhile, but I wasn't as dizzy.
This morning, I took my medicine and you know when you swallow wrong and it really hurts? That happened. My chest really hurt. I walked out of the kitchen towards the couch. Next thing I knew, I was laying with my knees on the floor and my head (with my glasses on and all) in the couch cushion. I was completely confused. I thought I had fallen asleep, but that didn't make sense because why would I fall asleep with my knees on the floor? I stood up and slowly realized I had fainted. Fainted. My husband came out of the bedroom and I was trying to explain what happened. He asked if that was the thump he heard. I said I guessed so.
It is so weird. I have never fainted. Then I got scared. What if I wasn't near the couch? I could have fallen down the stairs.
I have been taking it easy today, but I feel exhausted and crappy. I just want to feel better.
I will call my doctor in the morning re: the fainting, get my mammogram in the afternoon, and hopefully visit the dentist to get the crown re-cemented.
Tomorrow has to be a better day.
I recently had some emergency dental work done. I got a root canal. And a temporary crown put on last week. It fell off the next day. My dentist was closed Friday, so I have been sticking it back on with toothpaste (the internet suggested it - it still keeps falling off).
Then there is the mammogram follow-up. That is tomorrow. I get another mammogram and an ultrasound. I am SURE it is ok, but it has still been on my mind. Constantly.
I was diagnosed with high blood pressure a few months back. I was put on a diuretic. That didn't help. So, next I got a more serious blood pressure med. That worked, but all of the sudden, I was very dizzy all the time. My doctor suggested I cut them in half and halve the dosage. That seemed to be working ok. I hadn't checked my blood pressure in awhile, but I wasn't as dizzy.
This morning, I took my medicine and you know when you swallow wrong and it really hurts? That happened. My chest really hurt. I walked out of the kitchen towards the couch. Next thing I knew, I was laying with my knees on the floor and my head (with my glasses on and all) in the couch cushion. I was completely confused. I thought I had fallen asleep, but that didn't make sense because why would I fall asleep with my knees on the floor? I stood up and slowly realized I had fainted. Fainted. My husband came out of the bedroom and I was trying to explain what happened. He asked if that was the thump he heard. I said I guessed so.
It is so weird. I have never fainted. Then I got scared. What if I wasn't near the couch? I could have fallen down the stairs.
I have been taking it easy today, but I feel exhausted and crappy. I just want to feel better.
I will call my doctor in the morning re: the fainting, get my mammogram in the afternoon, and hopefully visit the dentist to get the crown re-cemented.
Tomorrow has to be a better day.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Is it summer yet?
These last few weeks of school are a killer. Every night there is something - either I need to get to a meeting, I have a work function, or there are 3,000 kid things to do. Tonight was David's 3rd grade chorus concert.
Wow. My 9 year old has become me.
I watched him up there, expecting to be all proud of his shining little face singing his heart out.
Not So Much.
After the first couple songs, my husband leaned over and said, "Why is he all red? Is he laughing?"
I nodded at him, while I tried to shoot daggers with my eyes in David's general direction. I watched helplessly from the audience as he and his little neighbor took turns fake punching each other and cracking up every time. His friend Josh, whose mother happens to be one of my close friends, was in front of him. He spent most of the time looking back at David and making jokes, which David thought was hilarious. The music teacher reprimanded them between songs. It didn't help.
After the concert, Josh's mother and I looked at each other and just shook our heads. My friend's father in law said, "You guys certainly aren't getting any mothers of the year awards."
I can't help but think back to when I was in chorus, and band, and how I behaved. He isn't so far off the mark - I was constantly trying to get my peers approval as well. I just don't remember doing it so YOUNG.
Wow. My 9 year old has become me.
I watched him up there, expecting to be all proud of his shining little face singing his heart out.
Not So Much.
After the first couple songs, my husband leaned over and said, "Why is he all red? Is he laughing?"
I nodded at him, while I tried to shoot daggers with my eyes in David's general direction. I watched helplessly from the audience as he and his little neighbor took turns fake punching each other and cracking up every time. His friend Josh, whose mother happens to be one of my close friends, was in front of him. He spent most of the time looking back at David and making jokes, which David thought was hilarious. The music teacher reprimanded them between songs. It didn't help.
After the concert, Josh's mother and I looked at each other and just shook our heads. My friend's father in law said, "You guys certainly aren't getting any mothers of the year awards."
I can't help but think back to when I was in chorus, and band, and how I behaved. He isn't so far off the mark - I was constantly trying to get my peers approval as well. I just don't remember doing it so YOUNG.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Golf is done for another year..........
The tournament went well. It was a beautiful day, my volunteers kicked ass, and everyone had fun. The food was good, the sponsors were happy, and we netted somewhere between $8500 - $12,000. I will have the final numbers tomorrow.
I need to be proud of myself and acknowledge when things go well. In my head, I am thinking of all the things that could have been better, and the things I think went poorly. But, you know what? It went well. I need to acknowledge that. I am organized and run things well.
So, I am sitting here thinking of my next huge tasks. Lol I have to start planning for next year's winter gala, and really get working on our annual campaign in the fall. I will give myself the evening to feel ok about what I accomplished though. :)
I need to be proud of myself and acknowledge when things go well. In my head, I am thinking of all the things that could have been better, and the things I think went poorly. But, you know what? It went well. I need to acknowledge that. I am organized and run things well.
So, I am sitting here thinking of my next huge tasks. Lol I have to start planning for next year's winter gala, and really get working on our annual campaign in the fall. I will give myself the evening to feel ok about what I accomplished though. :)
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