Springsteen

I love Springsteen. Next week my husband and I are going to see him in Albany. I am super excited about it.

While I am looking forward to it, I also can't help but think of the last time we saw him. It was November 2007. It was maybe 3 weeks before I got sober. My husband and I and our friends J & A had gotten tickets together to see him in Albany. We had gone together a few years back to see him at the Meadowlands and had a ball - tailgating with lots of beer.

This show didn't turn out so well. My friend J had surgery the day before the show and couldn't go. So, A brought their son. I had a couple of beers before we left and brought one for the road (I always used to do that - the husband would drive and I would drink in the passenger seat). I was being super responsible in my mind because I only brought one - not a six pack - to drink in the car since my friend's son was with us. I had some sort-of twisted logic that one beer for the road wasn't an issue - it was just a little badass and naughty - not indicative of a real problem.

Once we got there, I didn't buy any beer. I didn't want to be the only one drinking. A wasn't drinking since he son was there, and my husband doesn't drink plus he was driving.

When we arrived home several hours later, I couldn't sleep. I knew it was because I wasn't drunk. Most nights I just passed out. I hadn't had enough t pass out (hell, I hadn't had enough to be buzzed). It was too late to keep drinking so I tried to sleep. I remember sobbing in my bed because I was so hopelessly addicted to alcohol. I couldn't even sleep without it.

I asked my husband, at like 3 AM, if he thought I was an alcoholic. He said he didn't know.

The next day I resumed my regular intake - starting to drink as soon as my son got off the school bus and I felt much more normal.

Thank God that is not my normal anymore. I am not a slave to it. I don't need it to feel normal.

And, my husband and I are going to have the best time! After Springsteen we are staying over in Albany. Then, we are going to NYC for the weekend. We are using his hotel points from all his travel for work. We are going to wander around the city and sleep late eat when what we want when we want (but cheaply - I have deemed it will be a cheap weekend so I am looking up all cheap things to do in the city). And, I will not be drunk for one minute of it!!!