Saturday, February 14, 2009

The program is working

and I am not sure why, or how, or whatever but I can feel my responses to things changing. The same crap happens, but the way I react is different. It takes work and I know I am not anywhere near perfect at it (in fact I mess it up often), but I am trying. And, it helps.

It really helps.

That is amazing to me.

I had a big win at work recently (an event I planned went well). After, my girlfriends and I from work stayed together at the hotel and had a sleepover. We got pizza at midnight and the hotel food and beverage manager sent up several bottles of wine for us (and club soda for me because I asked him for it when he said he was sending up the wine). I didn't even want the wine. Not at all. It didn't bother me in the least to be there, watch them drink, and not drink. I was amazed by that the next day.

I also am trying to be healthier in my relationships with my extended family. I am trying to do what I can though - not change them or change our relationships necessarily - I am changing my reactions and my behavior. That is all I can control. And, it helps.

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