Since I entered recovery, I have often mentioned al-anon to my husband and suggested that he might want to attend. He always says he would like to. There is a meeting at the same time and in the same building as a meeting I like to go to (and I actually might switch to it as my home group - for several reasons), and we recently decided that we should get a sitter on Tuesday nights so we can both go to meetings.
I think it would be good because he could work a program - learn about the principles and the steps, etc. I think it would be helpful for him. I want him to get the support I feel, and the love and the acceptance. I want that for him.
Yet, part of me is terrified about him going. This is purely ego, and purely my own selfishness and craziness. I am afraid he will find out that I am a terrible person. That he and the other members will sit around sharing war stories about "their alcoholics" and our terrible behavior. That he needs to go get help because of me. That all the older women will listen to him, and tell him he is such a good man for putting up with my bullshit for all these years.
I am pretty sure that isn't how it works (at least that is what I read and I have heard), but I can't stop thinking about it is going to affect me. How selfish is that?
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