Saturday, November 15, 2008

Feeling Blue....

and I am not sure why.

I am coming up on my one year anniversary. That is a good thing. I will be celebrating at my home group. My friend T, the young guy who befriended me the very first night I went to AA, is taking me out to lunch on my anniversary. He is my closest AA friend, and we get along great. Then we will shop a little. I am taking the day off work and it will just be a nice day. Then, we will go to our evening meeting.

Even though my home group is a closed meeting, we allow non-alcoholics at the celebration meetings. My husband is coming to my anniversary, as is my mother. My father will be out of town. I am kind-of bummed about that. When he told me he and my stepmother were going to see my stepsister in California for Thanksgiving, I was like, "Oh. But you will miss my anniversary." He simply said, "I'm not skipping the trip for that."

That hurt my feelings. I guess maybe he doesn't get that it is a big deal to me. He doesn't ask much about it. He is really occupied with taking care of my sister, and I know I shouldn't be so sensitive about it.

My inner twelve year old is just asking, "What about me?"

I just have so much going on. I am feeling overwhelmed with work and the kids and just life in general. When I feel overwhelmed, I tend to shut down and hide. I know that I should do the opposite - I should go to more meetings. My instinct is to isolate.

Oh well...it will be fine.

2 comments:

Sheila said...

But if you shut down and hide than we can't go out and make fun of Jamie!! (for what he eats, for what he drinks, for what he says -- I thought about it and that guy really takes a lot of abuse from us =)) I'm sorry your dad won't be around for the big one-year. But we'll all be thinking about you Kris.

Kristen said...

Lol! Thanks Sheil.

We are brutal with him, aren't we?