Friday Morning....

And I am bored. It is 8:06 AM, and I am wondering what I am going to do all day. I can't wait to start work Monday! (Remind me I said that when I am tearing my hair out in a few weeks).

David is home sick again (tummy still not great). Plus, I am just so worried about him. So, he is on the couch, Becca is running around downstairs, and I am just sitting here.

There is a meeting I like to go to at noon on Fridays, and my mom usually babysits for Becca, but she has an appointment this morning so I am pretty sure she isn't coming over. Plus, I am not going to be able to go to this meeting anymore anyway since I will be working. EL is still sick, but he has an interview with his boss today (same job; more money, just a different classification in the state system - he isn't expecting to get it because there are much more senior guys up for it, but he felt it was important to interview at least to show his interest for the future) so he went off to work.

We have a Church School retreat thing tomorrow morning for David's first communion, then the school's fun fair is tomorrow, and David has a birthday party tomorrow evening. Busy day. We may skip the fun fair since I want everyone healthy next week - in case I haven't mentioned it (ha!) I start work Monday. I think I may try on all my new clothes today and plan my outfits for next week. That would be productive. I might even make little cards listing everything right down to the shoes and accessories so I know what to put out each night. I bet I could even make an excel spreadsheet! Wow - this is the crazy crap my brain comes up with when it isn't bogged down with alcohol.

I also could plan dinners too. I may print up some crock pot recipes, make a list for the store on Sunday, and pre-make everything I can on Sunday so we will have easy meals next week.

Or, I could sit here and play on the internet. Or watch The Cosby Show with the kids (they love The Cosby Show!).

I spoke with my sponsor K for an hour last night. She is such an awesome woman. The sponsor is the person who helps you work through the 12 Steps. I have found the Steps to be pretty obscure. I mean, I understand them, but whenever I hear people refer to "working the steps" I am like, "What the heck are they doing? Committing them to memory?"

Right now, K and I are just getting to know each other. Sharing information about ourselves, our families, etc. Eventually, she will guide me through all of the steps. She did mention that for Step 1 (Step 1 is "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable") I could start by writing about the times when I remember feeling powerless to alcohol. That is interesting, because there are a few things that are obvious standouts in my mind (like the time I ended up in a clinic with an IV in my arm in Utah because I was so sick from drinking), but when I started really thinking about it, there are things even from my childhood that fit.

Sheila will remember this one - a sleepover birthday party when we were very young (what - maybe 10 or 11 or 12?) and a party goer brought some alcohol. I pretended to sip it, but didn't because it was too scary. The parents found out and the offender was sent home (in case she got sick because she did drink some). We were sitting around birthday cake, all crying. I felt pretty powerless then. Of course, that didn't make me an alcoholic, but it is telling - that alcohol had such an effect on me at such a young age.

So, I guess I may start writing this stuff down in my Nightmare Before Christmas journal I got at Disney in January. See, Elissa, I KNEW it would come in handy!